Solo mom’s can’t be dads!……BUT

Hello world,

Before I begin, I believe that all children need both parents that is why it takes TWO! While some women do a great job with single parenting; fathers are still needed! A fellow solo mom is in a bit of a quandary, let’s see if we can help.

So for all of you single moms, what do you do when you have HAD it with the bio-dad??? Things start out great co-parenting but around the teenage years, things change and it seems you have turned into just another baby momma with a dead beat dad? Should she cut him off and relieve him of his duties; or dig deeper? She realizes that she can’t be dad and would love to have the father be a part but it looks like the relationship between the dad and child has been severed. Should the mom get involved, yet again or allow the child and father to reconcile if they chose and continue do what she has been doing.

Things to factor: 

Bio-dad has admitted that he does not know where the relationship went wrong and says “my child doesn’t call me so what am I supposed to do?” 

 The child says ” When I call him he never calls back or he may text me. I don’t know what is wrong with my dad, but I’m over it.” 

The mom: Currently, needs dad to step it up BUT his response is above and he appears to not want to be bothered.

My thought is to let his behind be and relieve him of his duties since excuses are the only thing he has.

 

-Simply Sherrie

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7 Comments

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  1. -Anonymous states that mom should intervene and see if dad will reach out. he says dad should also showere with gifts of love! Thanks!

  2. I think the 3 of them should sit down and talk through it. Dad says child doesn’t call, Child says dad doesn’t call. I find that you can usually get to the bottom of things when all parties involved are in the same room. I know someone who lived this situation and it was actually the child that didn’t want to be bothered yet blamed the father. In spite of this the father maintained the father’s proper attitude and continued to reach out to the son in spite of the son’s attitude or efforts to separate himself. Now the child is in college and father’s efforts and wisdom have proven to pay off. Best to that single mom~

    • Thanks Leneiva,

      I agree with getting everyone involved. If there are any issues or if anything has been hidden; the truth will come out. I’m happy to hear the father did not give up. I think children are often caught in the crossfire so they side more with the parent in which they live.

  3. He should want to be apart of her life. it seems he just gave up being a father a long time ago

  4. Girl this one is too close to home for me. I am stuck in the middle of one of these issues right now. As the step mom I see a father who doesn’t step up as he should to support his daughter unless he has the time. or feels the need and I see a teenager who feels that her dad isn’t worth the trouble because he doesn’t make her a priority. I have tried to explain to him how his daughter is feeling and how he is hurting her but he doesn’t see it. He feels like he is doing the best he can and doesn’t see how he is in the wrong. He also uses the fact that he isn’t in her life as much to excuse himself from things that she is dong wrong because her mom is raising her so he can make her mom the scapegoat. Some weeks he goes out of his way to be involved and be a dad and makes a lot of great promises, but then a few days to weeks later he is back to forgetting the promises he made or just too busy to spend time with her. To make matters worse, I am afraid that this will happen to my child later down the road. I struggle with this daily. Do I continue to stay in this situation and pray for the best? If I leave in the future is my child going to suffer through this drama the way his teenager is currently suffering. His older daughter has already made it clear she would not see her dad if it wasn’t for me and her baby sister. I feel torn daily thinking about what I am seeing now and whether or not being around is doing my child more harm than good.

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